land of the dream-junkies.


Ellis Lacey, an innocent Irish girl that never expect her life to change until her sister send her to Brooklyn, NY, America. 

This movie nominated in OSCAR for best picture, best actress and best adapted screenplay. Well, speaking of which I’m not telling or reviewing any movie here but let me spread some words. If you guys asked me have I ever gone to Brooklyn, the answer is no. Last trip-not so-trip to New York I stayed in Manhattan and it is not because I’m too lazy to across the river for being ended up in Brooklyn but it’s a short time of trip. We stayed in E 38th Street for a night and spent 2 other nights in St. Nicholas Avenue and had some list to do so we didn’t see everything in NYC. Back to Ellis, she grown up in the early of 1950’s and Rose, her sister noticed that Ellis couldn’t be evolved her ability by only being a shop assistant in a small city like Enniscorthy – Ireland. In the name of love, Ellis moved to Brooklyn and lived in a board house. Even in her early days she barely have a ‘life’ she eventually enjoy Brooklyn when she found Tony as her prince. She changed a lot in much better way, Ellis got education on accountancy at Brooklyn College, more cheerful than ever and got a better sense of fashion – of freaking course. 

I can tell, New York has changed people whether into a worse or better circumstances as a person and human being. This city offer much much much opportunity if you struggle on it, this city is might be also offer much much much sorrow if you don’t struggle. But at the end, this super power country has developed until as big as now from the hands of immigrant and their hopes, their dreams, their intentions. It’s not too much whenever I remembered USA in general – NYC in particular as a place for dream junkies.

here are some evidences from the dream junkies :


Permanent Mission of Indonesia, NY – minutes before the struggle started!


Times Square


It is not always what it is.

Here’s the thing;

I’ve been more unstable, more cranky, more moody than now. I’m not saying someone has changed me, since it was heard so cliché, it is indeed impossible to have change that not come from yourself. Firdaus, my very best-fight friend and also a partner for more than… years (I don’t know how to calculate exactly today, sorry) teach me something nice. A really nice life lesson – patiently. Whenever a crisis situation between us happened, somehow his cold mind always turn more right than me, he asks me basic fundamental things which makes me think, tiredly. I said tiredly because I do realize whenever I get mad I rarely fond of being asked or anything related to that. He teach me how to have more proper way of thinking, controlling emotion, and how we supposed to react. I’m not saying that we always agree and have some typical understanding in all issue but I’m gonna have a spare time to think of what he said. He’s not a religious person, believe me. On the other hand, I feel like the struggle on changing in certain things to get better are needed and it is worth to do. It’s not only once or twice we had a fruitful&hurtful debate on many topics, in between our fights (mostly ’cause I ain’t willing to lose from the debate and using a short of shallow, uncritical minds – Shit, I admit that) he often put me in a position without an easy turning back. And makes me think – again. Sometime he gets too annoying in my perspective whenever he does that but I realized he read books which making him smart-annoying-ass and he wants me to be a good person.

One day, a lecturer passionately gave lesson about having critical minds towards our performance in making the future thesis. I surely shocked-not-shocked and trust me, those list given by my lecturer about the characteristic of critical thinker mostly suit to him. Which I can be proud of hahaha. It makes me feel that we just not always see good purpose or intention in a very first time. We just give it time let our brain proceed and decide it bravely later. Me, as a youngster know that many of us now is craving or in a love-relationship just like me but I do believe and agree on choosing your partner, future life partner, or whatever you named it supposed to be the one that giving an impact and encouraging the good things to our days/life. I’m not arrogantly saying that we’re going to be together as long as we want but hopefully we filled the days with worthy things. Now, he has driven my self to have a change and it is different from changing a person into the person that you wanted by coercion. Thank you, I always adore your mind.

Books he recommended me to read:

  1. The Art of Thinking Clearly – by Rolf Dobelli (special thanks credit to Dzikrina, I’ve read it)
  2. Dunia Sophie – by Jostein Gaarder
  3. The Stepford Wives – by Ira Levin
  4. (lots to go)…..

What You/I/We Wished (part 1)


Little Manhattan 

Jaman itu ibu bapak masang tv kabel buat hiburan anak-anaknya biar anteng (gak kebanyakan layangan terus tangan nya kapalan), selain nonton kartun, HBO pas tahun segitu nanyangin film Little Manhattan yang aktor nya sekarang terkenal banget gara-gara film The Hunger Games, Josh Huterchon. As we can read from the title…. mostly, scenes were took place in Downtown New York, Manhattan, Central Park dan tempat-tempat lain di New York yang pas 4 musim selalu indah banget and so dynamic just like it is. It was my first time that I realized having big-impossible-kinda-dreams : NEW YORK. Jaman SD semua punya fanatisme terhadap berbagai hal, kaya sahabat-sahabat sejak SD, Sasha yang so into blink-blink, Omi dengan segala yang berbau skulls, dan saya dengan yang berbau dengan NY. Semua film yang lokasi nya di NY kaya The Devil Wears Prada juga menambah adiksi tersendiri terhadap kota ini. Ditambah saat salah satu tante saya pulang dari studi di Brandeis University, Boston membawakan ‘oleh-oleh’ kartu metrocard berwarna kuning yang udah expired. Saya menuliskan NY dalam wishlist yang harus terlaksana selama saya hidup. Hal lain yang paling iseng saya lakukan jaman mau lulus SMA adalah browsing perguruan tinggi di New York, apalagi saat saya tergila-gila untuk bekerja di industri fashion (padahal gambar aja gak bisa, it’s just a nice way of saying that i love shopping) jadi hampir tiap hari bukain web padahal tau kemungkinan kuliah disana juga amat tipis.



Life is kinda monotone, I got accepted in engineering school not like what I expected (social sciences major like communication or international relations) since 2013 and doing same things all over again. But not in in the middle of 2015. Cool kids united in a group called ITS Model United Nations Club enlight me, they opened selection for delegates who’d joined the Harvard Model United Nations 2016(HNMUN 2016). Karena masih ada rasa-rasa dongkol gak boleh ambil social sciences sama orang tua (yang padahal lulusan social sciences), i joined. Model UN sendiri merupakan simulasi sidang PBB yang ngebahas topik-topik tertentu sesuai sama komite nya, misal bahas AIDS di komite WHO gitu deh. Balik lagi ke seleksi delegasi, setelah beberapa tahap akhirnya kami ber-7 + 3 officials menjadi delegasi kampus  untuk HNMUN 2016. Singkat kata, saya akan pergi ke Amerika. Mendapat pengumumannya saja senang bukan main, padahal belum tau akan beneran berangkat apa nggak karena masih banyak yang harus dipikirin, selain ijin orang tua tentu biaya dan perintilan yang tidak sedikit. Dreams are achieve-able when you are awake and try to make it happen. Latihan rutin setiap minggu, ikutan lomba nasional, latihan lagi, ngurusin birokrasi yang -hehe- tidak semudah dibayangkan, cari sponsor, latihan lagi, mengurus akomodasi, rapat mulai senyum sampai pengen nangis pun kami jabanin. Untung kami ber-10 punya 20 pundak yang saling menguatkan. Amerika bukan main idea dari keberangkatan kami, tapi khususnya untuk saya itumenjadi poin ke-2 setelah lomba model UN tertua di dunia yang jadi poin ke-1 hehe.


HNMUN berlangsung pada bulan Februari 2016, waktu kita singkat. None of us sure enough to go to USA ’till we hold the tickets. Kami pusing bukan kepalang milih tiket, karena angka 0 nya terlalu banyak dan mencekik – dan saya pribadi gak enak hati untuk minta ke orang tua-. Semalam sebelum akhirnya bayar tiket, kami kumpul. Nelponin Yosar, salah satu delegasi yang lagi magang di Jakarta yang susah banget dicariin lewat hp dan sampai sekarang masih gak tau nyariin ini bocah harus nya gimana lagi but at the end he said yes to the price (alhamdulillah!). Rapat terakhir kali ini ditemenin hujan deras dan pengakuan salah satu delegasi yang nggak jadi berangkat karena suatu alasan. Sedih banget, but we have to go at the end, pundak kita jadi 18 yang ke Amerika + 2 pundak yang selalu setia dan ngawasin di Surabaya. Setelah perintilan tiket dll sudah ditangan, kita berangakat tanggal 7 Februari 2016. Dan mendarat di John F. Kennedy Airport, New York. Yes, here we go.



ten of us + mas tono yang jago fotoin kami




salju itu cantik,

salju itu siap dengan hempasan tubuhku,

salju itu melankolis dan introvert,

salju itu turun dengan kalem seperti nina bobo ibu kepada anaknya,

ternyata salju itu cantik hanya dari jendela,

tidak; salju datang ramai-ramai meninggalkan kemerahan di hidung dan telingamu,

ternyata salju menggoreskan luka di kutikula,

ternyata dia menghambat kaki mu untuk lebih jauh pergi,


(Boston, 15 Februari 2016)





Him vs time vs space.

Thank God it’s been my second year meeting this holy month with the same person that You let staying in my heart – whether it’s for forever or only temporary, who knows? – 

Once Meredith Grey said to Derek Sheperd (oh gosh I’m in love with this couple) that she can live without him, but she choose not to. Same here, wherever he* wants to go I kinda feel oh why he has to leave me here.. I bet it was temporary, nonsense feeling I’ve ever had. Because once he’s gone somewhere for days,weeks,months, I’m fine, I’m okay just as usual. The ‘menye’ part is only when he’s ready to go like in train, on the plane, in the bus, on his motorcycle when he sends me text goodbye and he’s leaving this city with me in it. I guess I have no exact reason why for those reason.

But this time and space things are really working for us. Avoiding our boredom sometimes, having lot time to do our private things, do whatever we wants, meeting friends, exercising my ability to go on motorcycle and the best part is missing each other(well, I hope that he does xixi). We are not really romantic persons, I’m going to be honest, it’s our 2nd year and not even a petal of flower came! LOL.

So, Meredith was right. I can live without him, but I don’t want to.

The one you leave temporarily because of this mudik-mudik moment,

xoxo JOJO



I feel like I lost my mojo in writing, it takes a long time how to start writing on this page. But, Hi!

Selamat menjalankan ibadah puasa!

Bulan puasa kaya gini lagi sering bingung-bingung sendiri, kebanyakan mikir-mikir sendiri (hehehe no, thank God I still don’t owned that mental illness) tapi karena semester udah kelar sekarang tinggal leha-leha nunggu ditanyain IP sama bapak ibu yang notabene bayarin kuliah. There’s no lot of things to do while in this time, in case you wondering what I’ve been up to lately is cooking rice, since everyone in my home loving the rice that I cook, everyday is a rice-cooking day for me (atau ini hanya alibi ibu aja biar anak perempuan nya gak males-malesan pas libur? who knows?). Karena terlalu nganggur, barusan aja ngecekin page facebook sampe habis dan rasanya campur aduk lucu ya, it’s like facebook was really there while I was growing up and mentally unstable hahaha. Facebook recorded almost all of my galau and eeww things back then. Ada rasa malu saat harus baca status yang sekarang kalo di pikir ulang, harusnya gak usah gitu amat sih Jo atau celaan komentar sama temen-temen sendiri yang OMG! That’s so harsh. Hidup di masa semuanya terlacak di dunia internet gini emang bikin kita harusnya jadi semakin bijak ya? Kalo nggak harus capek-capek ngedelete-in satu-satu semua post yang bikin muka merah kalo dibaca. Semua foto yang udah terlanjur terupload juga kadang bikin resah dan mikir ‘what the hell I was doing?’ I admit that not everything on my facebook was embarrassing, ada mimpi-mimpi alay yang jaman dulu di impikan sekarang insyaallah akan terwujud. The power of believing, is it? Thank you facebook for being there while I was growing up, now you are a frienemy to me.

What I wanna ask is, is everyone here still has their thing called ‘privacy’ ?

noun: privacy
  1. the state or condition of being free from being observed or disturbed by other people.
    And now my writing is being observed by some satellites up there. Goodnight ppl, have a good sahur!

2:41 am

dalam ramai aku ramai yang sepi

dalam sepi aku sepi yang ramai

kamu lari, aku lari

kamu diam dalam tirai, aku diam dalam tirai

sampai kapan?

semua sama.

aku jalan di seberang mu, hey

kamu tak kunjung menyebrang; apa yang salah?

ini saat nya berhadapan

dengan jarak yang jauh.